EPISODE 4

SHOW NOTES:

This was a RIDE! Let me know what you think of the episode!

TRANSCRIPT:

What is up chickens. I'm your host, Briana mystic. And this is cosmic conversations. I am your spiritual mentor and galactic bestie join me on this wild and intimate ride through all of the things cosmic. It's a really safe space for us to explore all of the things from personal growth and human design, to astrology, plant medicine experiences, and the intricacies of just being a human Hunter are here to embrace the healing process, self discovery, and ultimately guiding you towards being your most authentic and confident self, and life and business. So, as much as I really really had high hopes and tensions and hopes of bringing you to Morocco, day by day, well, the only time that I had to record something, this is what my voice sounded like.

So it's the end of day two on this retreat. I have had absolutely no downtime to just be and talk to you guys. So here we are now. It's one in the morning. I'm checking in. This has been absolutely fucking crazy so far. Yeah.

So once we were there, we realized that it just wasn't possible to bring you along, unfortunately. So it's all divinely guided. Anyways, we needed to get to the other side in order to make sense of this craziness. Anyways. So now that we're done, we're home. If you haven't listened to the podcast episode before this, where it says lonely in Madrid spirit guides Morocco, part one, please listen, because it gives you so much backstory and magic into why we're here. It's like a 15 minute episode. Please go listen to that if you haven't listened already. All right, back to the show. Now I'm back home. And I'm integrated. And I am here to share with you a tizzy starting from when I landed in Morocco. After Madrid, I landed in Morocco. And immediately new light language starts coming online. Immediately, I started to feel that there was a massive initiation happening. It was, it's unlike anything I've ever experienced. To be completely honest, I've traveled a lot. And nothing quite is like when you land somewhere and you just feel this like ancient energy, that you know that something crazy is about to happen. But you don't know what it is. That's kind of how I felt. So if you felt like that, in any instance, just imagine yourself feeling that. And I'm about to embark on a five day pilgrimage through the Sahara Desert, and the Atlas Mountains. Once a landed into Fez, which is where we started, it was a massive culture shock. Again, I have traveled a lot. But this place, it felt like it wasn't on Earth, it felt like a different world. And this is why travel is so amazing. It's a way for you to experience new cultures and you're still on Earth, you're not on another planet, right? So one thing that I really noticed immediately was how much I resonated with Moroccan decor. And I find this fun because I never knew how to explain my style of decor. And being in Morocco made me realize that all these other countries and stores just copy Morocco, they copy Moroccan design, and it felt so fitting and so homey being there, because I was like wow, I really feel like I fit in here as far as the aesthetic of the decor goes. And I know that might sound weird, but it's honest. The first day we get to Fez, we are going with a guide and he's showing us around through all of these little shops and different areas in the medina which is like the market basically. And we go into this beautiful rug store. If you don't know Moroccan rugs are like a hallmark of Morocco. They're made by the women in the country in all different areas and they're a lot of times one of a kind. The guy at the rug store, he's explaining to us the different types of rugs. He this one is you know, made by this kind of a Roman This one is made in this kind of way. I'm not an expert at this. But we're here we're getting the full rundown of all these beautiful massive rugs in this area. The man pulls out this one specific rug. And all of a sudden tears start to roll down my face for like no reason like I am emotionally attached to this rug. I need this rug. My job is not planning on buying a rug in Morocco. Well, lo and behold, guess who made this rug? Just guess. Is there Berber woman from the Atlas Mountains? Again, if you haven't listened to the previous episode, definitely go and listen, I literally just named my kitten Atlas without knowing any of this. Yes, the Atlas Mountains. I'm like, Oh my God. No, no puking. Wait. But also like, of course, of course, this is made from the Atlas mountain people, of course, I'm crying over our rug. And again, if you know me, you know why not gonna cry over a rug. Really, it's not my thing. So obviously, I buy this rug, we have a ship tome. And it's now in my office. And I am obsessed. Mind you. We're just following our hearts here. Because, again, I had no plans to buy an eight by 10 rug in Morocco. But the thing is, the universe is always giving you nudges. Some might say that buying a humongous rug in Morocco out of nowhere, is not smart. Or it may be even a waste of money. But you know what I say to that, I just agree. Not only am I supporting a family, but I believe that each moment is special. And when you're walking in flow with sores and listening to the whispers, the way is right in front of you. I knew that buying this rug would make sense. Even if it didn't make sense in the moment, it would make sense at the end of this trip, or by the time I got home. So I said you know what, fuck it. Let's go. I knew that I wouldn't regret buying it. But I would if I didn't buy it, I would wonder what if I know that I know myself. And I'm going to be a bad ass grandma, who's going to pass this down to my kids, my grandkids and keep this in the family. For the rest of our lives. This is going to be such a cool story that I'm excited to share with my future little Chickies. After we did our tour of the Medina, we went back home to our reorder beautiful Riyadh. And we shared our intentions. My intention was really simple. It was to discover why I was called to this place in the first place. And once I figure out why I was called to the Atlas Mountains in Morocco to take action after I have a new awareness. So there it goes. There we begin. And I just want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for Missy my friend shout out Missy, and Amber and Josh and Anna and my mom, all for being so supportive and nudging me to go, really validating me to follow the call. Even if my monkey mind was kind of telling me it was a little bit crazy. And I told myself, I wouldn't go travel. And but sometimes you really just need to follow your heart. And I'm just so grateful for the people in my life who nudged me to listen to my soul, and help make this trip possible. I wake up the next morning, and my throat hurts like pitch. It hurts so bad, okay. But all I kept hearing in my third eye or in my mind, but it wasn't my mind. I just kept hearing you've been doing this and training for lifetimes. And I was like, okay, so that day we begin our pilgrimage to the Sahara Desert. We make stops along the way to connect to the land, really introducing ourselves and also to the waters of this area. First stop, we got out of our car, introduce ourselves to the land, we shared our intentions. What we're doing here together we came with gratitude. We came with reverence we came humble. We connected to ocean which is the African river goddess. And very quickly, I remember this moment I felt the collective pain from the past from the present and from the Future. We were all singing and chanting. And I felt the desire and the need to start channeling light language to really transmute the pain. And I think it was so special for me for the land. Because when you're channeling a light language, it's quite literally channeling source energy. So you don't need vocabulary, you don't need to find the correct words, you are just channeling the frequency and frequency needs to be experienced before it can be transmuted. I hope that makes sense. So while we were there, I put my hands in the water. And I got this very strong vision of of snow. I don't know if you've seen in movies where like, a person puts their hands on a sacred rock or something. And it's like, oh, and they see this memory or a vision super clearly. Well, that is what happened to me several times throughout the week. And this was the first time it happened. I immediately feel like this is a memory of myself in the snow. The conditions are super harsh. And I'm like in a support role. I'm supporting the community. And I really just remember the harsh, cold, snowy conditions and what it felt like to experience this and support people in this. Mind you it felt super different than the collective trauma that we felt earlier. When you can feel into collective trauma, it feels collective, it feels big, it feels like part of you, but also, like everyone you've ever met in your entire life and everyone that you may never know, forever, are all experiencing this energy. Whereas when I started to feel into this snow memory, it was like, oh, yeah, this happened to me last Thursday. This was like my memory, like mine. So if you believe in past lives, however you want to look at it. I take this as whether or not it was my past life. It's a past life memory that is connected to my soul that I need to transmute and clear in this lifetime, right. Moving on. The plot thickens, way more throughout the week. It was like the more that I cleared and the more that I connected to different areas of the land, the more memories started to come through more and more and more and more clearly got the visions got longer and more vivid. Next, we're going on a camel ride. So once we get to the Sahara, it is time to ride our camels into our Riyadh. It's like a hotel in Morocco. I'm not really sure why they call him that. I haven't looked it up. Anyways. So Amber love you Amber, she actually encouraged us to connect to our camels psychically and just feel them rather than this being like a tourist attraction, like really try to connect to your camel. I love that because I honestly don't think I would have done that if it wasn't for Amber, encouraging us to do that. And let me tell you, I feel like I literally avatar tailed with that camel. Do you know I'm saying like when you have a little tail, you connect your tail to the camels tail, boom, and then now you're connected. Okay. First of all, I felt his feelings. He was like, showing me he was like, you know, I have feelings, too. Sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I really don't want to do this. But it's my mission here. And it's my purpose. And so I am devoted. I am so devoted to my mission. That I'm going to do it even when it's uncomfortable. And even when it's the times are tough. Like also he was giving me this like major Capricorn energy. I wonder if he was born like, in January, anyways, and I really took that to heart. Even if you're doing what you love. It's not always the easiest thing in the world. Being devoted is important. And how dedicated are you to your why? When you are connected to your why doing that thing. Makes a lot more sense. Even when you're tired. It doesn't mean that you will never get tired, it doesn't mean that you will never have to push through and just finish the thing. How dedicated are you to your why and if you don't know, go figure what your Y is. And if you don't know what it is ask me and we can uncover what your Y is because let me tell you when you are connected to your y and you come back to it doing the thing is just a lot easier, I promise you. And the final thing he shared with me was that I needed to go to the Andes Mountains. So I'm like, wait, homie, do you mean the Atlas Mountains? Because like we're about to go there and a couple of days. And he goes, No, the Andes. And I was like, All right, I don't even know what that is. Hmm. Lo and behold, it's in South America. And it goes through Peru. And I haven't told you this yet. But for some reason, I have always said that I have this feeling and knowing that I'm gonna go to Peru around age 30, for a very important reason. Like, you literally can't make this up. A camel tells me that I need to go to the Andes Mountains. Okay. Moving on. Crazy, just love the universe. After we get to our Riyadh, our beautiful Riyadh, we freshen up, blah, blah, blah, all the things. And we have our very first deep ceremony. And it's a fire releasing ceremony. This was the start of the magic. Who, whew. So the whole point of this was to release our fears, and release the things that are holding us back into the fire. And holy shit. I uncovered that I had this unconscious belief that without my Adderall, and without my meds, that I was useless. Mind you, I've been off of Adderall for three years, I would have asked everything secretly, so that I would save my ego from being hurt. Yes, this is very vulnerable, clearly. But it's like absolute bullshit. It's literally not true. What I want to point out here is that beliefs will lie in your shadow until they are illuminated, you may be acting a certain way thinking that that's how you are. But really, it's because you have a unconscious belief that's stopping you from really being the most you. And until we go there until we're willing to look under the hood and see what's actually under there. We're gonna keep living in that loop. And we're going to keep hitting these limits for ourselves, because we simply can't see outside of our current reality. Throughout the ceremony, it hurt really bad. But I transmuted this energy and so it completely dissolved. This was so powerful, and I really remembered who the fuck I am. I have so much medicine for the world that no, I am not useless, right? The following morning, I'm still in pain. My throat hurts more than ever. And I'm a little bit confused because I could have sworn it would go away after that fire raising ceremony. I was like, I got this. It's all gone. And no, it wasn't. Like, let me tell you, I was sleeping sitting up all night, every night because it felt like there were knives in my throat every time I swallowed, and my voice was hanging on by a thread. Again, reason why I couldn't record. Later on that evening. We took some sunset photos. And these pictures are beautiful. They are on my Instagram already. Go take a look. So we're taking these photos, group pictures, solo pictures, and it's all beautiful, all fine and dandy. And then it just hits me and I'm in so much pain, my throat hurts so bad. I just need to get away from everybody. So I go away from the group. And I sit down in this beautiful sand dune. And I just talk to spirit. I closed my eyes connected to my guides to the land to God. And I was just like, Why? Why am I in so much fucking pain? What is going on? What am I not seeing? Like I felt like someone from the Bible was talking to like a burning bush or something. I was like crying for help. It felt like and at first they were like, Hey, can you just please wait, we're going to tell you a lot more tomorrow. You're going to the Atlas Mountains tomorrow. Just give us a minute and I was like you guys I need answers please. Like with all the love and so much gratitude. Just give me something so that I can get through the night. And they showed me a very vivid memory. I was a beautiful healer for the people in the Atlas Mountains in the snow. I was both an energy healer and an herbal healer. So using energy medicine and plants. Basically what happened was I made a mistake and I messed up on somebody and This person died. And I began crying. Again, it literally felt like a memory that happened last week. So I started crying, I was crying for my pass up, I was crying for my current self. I was just kind of going through it. And mind you, Amber at the time is drumming, and I'm crying. And she's just holding the sacred space for me as I go through this experience. They just said, I would learn tomorrow. And Amber told me some amazing words, to get me through the night. So I still didn't quite understand why my throat hurt because it didn't give me anything about my throat. But it was fine. They told me I would learn more tomorrow. And I'm telling you, it felt like I was swallowing barbed wire every time I would swallow. So you'd have to die. We did a fire dance party. The fairies came, like literally Missy was doing a fire show. And there was literal fairies in the video, and I will show you it's on my Instagram somewhere for sure. In during the fire ceremony, all of us came together. And we did a healing on one of the people in our group. And it was so special, so beautiful. And one thing that I love about Amber, is she really invites you to step into your medicine with the group because she knows that we're not amateurs. We've been doing this for lifetimes. And if you feel the call to step in to support, you're supposed to step into support, this is training. And I'm really grateful for that because this trip, and this experience allowed me to really step in and support in person I do so much on Zoom. Such a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, potent experience with all of these women, there was 13 of us coming together to heal each other. The next morning, we woke up for the sunrise in the Sahara, we did a beautiful collective prayer and manifestation ceremony. It was so powerful like you could feel it. Mama Africa is so potent and beautiful. So we packed up and it was time for the Atlas Mountains. Finally, at this point, I am in so much throat pain. Then I'm sniffing mental crystals and using throat spray lozenges. Literally I even tried antibiotics to see if maybe it was actually a sickness that maybe would help with no. So it was really uncomfortable. And that's all I'm gonna say truly, I did feel like it was the most massive initiation for my throat chakra, which was what was keeping me going. And I also didn't feel like I was any kind of actual sickness. I was just hurting. So it was funny too, because I'm like, geez, do I really need my throat to be activated even more like it's pretty active. But here we are, again, I guess more needs to come through. Lo and behold, we come up against a cross another beautiful body of water in between two humongous mountains. Or back here the energy feels really familiar again. We go to the water, we give more rose offerings, and I come to ocean ready to give gratitude and ask, what is it that I need to do? And she looks at me and she says you need to let go of the guilt. Suddenly, I see a vision memory that these people did not let me explain myself. Hello, throat chakra. So what they were showing me was these people wanted me to heal the king's son. And I really did not want to do this because I didn't think it was possible. But they forced me to do this. And he ended up dying. He ended up dying after me trying my best. And so naturally, I felt so guilty. And they never let me explain myself. It literally felt like this happened last week. So if you've ever experienced anything like this, you know how real that past life feelings feel. It's It's so crazy. So imagine that you accidentally killed somebody when you didn't even try to you didn't even want to do the procedure because you knew it was too risky. So it's crazy. I immediately put my hands into the river. I touched the earth in the water. I crouched down, and I did the whole pono prayer. And it goes like this. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. And it's this beautiful prayer. It's this way to neutralize energies. So You say, I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. And I did this three times. And after three times, my ears popped. And I was like, Oh my gosh, in that moment, I knew that, like, I just cleared that I knew that I was forgiven the lands for gave me the hope karma was cleared and all past timelines, it was so wild. And it was so amazing. So I'm like, surely my throat is going to feel better after this. I listened really closely. And oh, schoon said to me very, very clear. You cannot let one fuck up, stop you from showing up in your purpose. And I was like, wow, that hits. And since then, it's even been crazier, like so many more breakthroughs. But in that moment, I was like, Wow, I can't let one fuckup stop me from showing up my purpose. And I believed her. And I felt like I believed charts. But I thought it was a massive breakthrough, when we get back to our Riyadh in the Atlas Mountains. And here we go again. Unfortunately, I feel like a cranky little baby. I'm frustrated. I'm still in pain. And after all of these breakthroughs, I feel better energetically. But I'm still not physically better. I'm still in the middle. And the physical pain was showing me that I'm still in the middle really kind of sucked because I just didn't know what I needed. But I was determined, and I had sisters there. And I had Ammar there and everyone was there to support me. So it was overall so amazing. 110% recommend if anyone's looking for a retreat in Morocco, we may or may not be collaborating on our own retreat next year. So mind you, I'm asking myself like, what the heck do I need? I know I could use a good cry. But I just don't know. I don't know what next thing the whole group goes and gets together for a cacao ceremony under the stars at our Riad. Once the cacao kicks in, we're all sitting outside with blankets. I'm in my mind, right? And I'm like, Oh my gosh, the land doesn't forgive me. And then I was like, Wait, what am I saying? That is so not right. That is so not true. So I just got a little quieter. And I realized that I didn't forgive me. I didn't forgive me for accidentally being imperfect. For messing up for doing my best and not being enough for hurting somebody. Surely a healer isn't supposed to harm anyone. Like I didn't even want to do this procedure. But they made me do it. And then I felt so guilty because it didn't work. Amber brought me through a beautiful somatic practice. And the next thing I know, I am hogging up so much shit from my throat. It was crazy. Oh my gosh, ever since this, I've been using this process for like my friends, my family's my clients to get energy moving. And let me tell you, I've never felt so human. My throat stopped hurting. And the lesson really was that we're here on earth to learn and grow and make mistakes along the way. This is Earth.

It's safe to be imperfect. If a young child made a mistake, what would you tell that little child, you would tell them? It's okay, you made a mistake. You learn from trying and practicing and doing your very best. And it kind of started to hit me. The only way that I've ever really gotten good at anything in my life is by practicing by making mistakes and getting back up only to keep adjusting in all of my businesses, in my relationships in my expression in all aspects of life. And I was like, wow, oh my gosh, I thought this was it. I thought this was the final release when I was actually wrong. So we go to bed. The next morning we wake up, we finally got to sleep in and we went on a walking tour inside of the Atlas Mountains. Somewhere along the way I touch this rock and it shows me It says the reason that you're even trying to heal the king's son is because you were the best in all the land, not because you're an amateur. And it clicked again. It was just further showing me that I'm a badass bitch in this lifetime and in all lifetimes. And I kept going they wouldn't give somebody a really challenged Almost impossible task if this wasn't the best person who potentially could even do it. And again, I felt amazing. It gave me some extra confidence, right that I wasn't even thinking I needed. Lo and behold, we come to our final body of water. And this is our final rebirth ceremony. And this time, it was fucking crazy. I'm telling you, everything came full circle. Okay, here we go. Again, I come to ocean. Even more humble, even more grateful with more offerings. I had rocks that I had picked up from another river, I brought a crystal that some for some reason, I felt like I needed to bring this crystal for my Morocco trip. And it was a random random crystal. And so I bought this crystal to give to ocean as an offering really symbolic of just letting it go. And the next thing I looked down at my wrist, and I have on my wrist, these two bracelets that were relics, really, from my very first company I ever started, this company was a jewelry business. And it started my entrepreneurial journey. I talked about it in episode one, a little bit, maybe one day, I'll get into it even more. But I thought that I was keeping these beautiful bracelets as a little relic, right? It was like, Oh, it reminds me that I'm an entrepreneur. And my guides are talking to me, or it was oh, shoot, I don't even know at this point who it was it was source. And they were like you need to let these bracelets go. And I'm like what? And they're like, Yeah, you It's you need to let these braces go. They're holding a lot of energy. And it's time for you to let go of the story that you fucked up. Again, if you haven't listened, listen to the first episode. And you'll know I got kicked out of my company. And it was the first thing that I ever really tried so hard for. And it broke me so far down, just so that I can be built back up again, right? All of a sudden, everything collapsing on itself. And I saw how all of the business pain, all of this drama I've ever experienced in my life, all of my relationships, pains taught me to remember, I saw how everything was connected how every single painful experience really is the one that is pivotal to your lessons that you need to grow in this lifetime. Like you contract all of these experiences before you incarnate and it fucking sucks in the moment. But oh my goodness, you chose it, you chose all of it, so that you can learn and grow and evolve and expand into the highest expressed version of who you came here to be. So I gave my blessing to the river. I gave my jewelry from the very first company to the river, the jewelry that was a memory that I fucked up. And I get to forgive my 20 year old self for fucking up all those years ago. And I became grateful for everyone who hurt me. And again, I have felt grateful for everyone who has hurt me in the past and whatnot. But this just made it like did something spiritually, even deeper than has ever happened before. I remembered who I was, I am a goddess. I am a Wayshower I am a leader. I am a healer, I am a queen, I'm a CEO. I am love. And I'm on a mission of love. And I'm on a mission to activate others to see how your power is perfect. And that you're an epic as creator and that you light up the world by just being the most expressed version of you. And how do you become the most Express version of you is to get to know all of you to get to know your darkest parts to get to know your lightest parts and then figure out how to express them so that people can see you. This is why we're here. I will show you how beautiful it is to be human how beautiful the pain gets to be because you are growing through it. It is beautiful. I'm here to heal the healers because we need healing to to drop the stories to drop the pain to drop the fears to drop the beliefs so that you can live from your soul so that you can live a life that is a walking embodiment of your soul so that you can activate your gifts that lie dormant within you so that you can feel fully connected and attract aligned people experiences places, things that bring you up. And that helps you feel alive. I'm so grateful for Missy for encouraged me to go. I'm grateful for Josh for saying that he wanted to get another kitten, Jupiter and Atlas, because without Atlas, we wouldn't, I wouldn't have said yes. And then it reminded me to think about Jasper. Because without Jasper passing away, we wouldn't even had this new cat. And then I remember that my old roommate, a roommate that I have a challenging history with. But it was because of her that we even connected to the breeders of these cats in the first place. And for all of the people from my past, who pushed me into the different directions that I ended up going, because it was for all of this, all of this, all the times that I separated from source was for me to see how powerful I really fucking AM. And when I see how powerful I am, my job is to remind you of how powerful you fucking are. I love you. And I really mean that. And I would absolutely love to support you. So whether you're looking to start your business, become a personal brand, show up online as maybe a coach or a thought leader, or open up your intuitive channel and connect to your guides and heal along the way. I am all in and I am here for you. If you want to work with me one on one, please click on the link in the show notes. I have a couple of spots opening up. This is going to be epic if you're ready to step into the next version of your life. And you know that you're meant for more. Let's fucking talk. I love you and I'm here to support you. And I hope that you enjoy this episode because I enjoyed creating it. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye